Need A Hair Tie? Look On The Sidewalk

I don't understand how any woman keeps her hair tied back when everywhere I look I see hair ties on the sidewalk, in the street, and on all public causeways, especially in front of Metro escalators. Are women leaving their hair ties to record their route in case they get lost like Hansel and Gretel? Maybe it's how you mark your turf in the suburbs? I suppose it's less expensive than graffiti.

In the first draft of the Brothers Grimm's tale, after Hansel ate all of the bread crumbs, Gretel found her way with hair ties.

I'm certainly no expert, but does the hair tie color imply something about the woman who left it behind? Your basic black hair tie implies a simple and practical woman who found her hair tie to be past its usefulness, though she surely has a pack of 50 to choose from at home. Just as every woman has a little black dress, every woman has many black hair ties (again, I have nothing to backup this claim).

Finding a stylized hair tie on the ground is like finding a Mickey Mantle rookie card laying next to it.

Hair ties with color and patterns are harder to find on the ground because these are more valuable and unique. Their wearers wear them after careful thought as I assume the specialized hair tie must match the outfit. Black hair ties go with anything, a red and yellow ribbed hair tie only goes with, well, I don't know, but certainly not everything. When a colorful hair tie reaches the ground, it must be broken or simply out of style for no woman would lose such an accessory by accident.

They might be glorified rubber bands, but hair ties are better than scrunchies. Nobody wants their face associated with them anymore.