An Even Taller Yao Ming at 7' 9"

He's another really tall Chinese basketball player and has got plenty of Ming in him since his name is Sun Ming Ming. He's just about 7' 9" and weighs in at a meager 350 pounds. And yes, he really does exist. A basketball in Ming's hands looks like a grapefruit in ours.

The 21 year-old is training with former MD Terrapin Keith Gatlin in North Carolina, and of course doesn't jump to dunk. Not much else to say about him, except here's hoping he can actually play the game and not be in there just b/c he's tall and something to see (look at: Shawn Bradley, Manute Bol, Muresan, etc). I just wonder how his joints will hold up. He's only 21, but I can't imagine his body lasting a long time in the NBA.

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If you like this article and want to read some more original, sometimes sports-related, and usually humorous material, checkout the rest of my blog at: http://bandtcrowd.blogspot.com.

Where do the buffalo roam?...Pikesville, MD...That's where

Who knew that buffalo herding is part of a police officer's job description in an area like Pikesville. I figure most of the significant daily events in that town might be a burglary or some shoplifting, but buffalo? I never really thought of suburban Maryland as a hotbed of buffalo activity since it isn't the best place for them to roam.



It turns out they traveled some three miles until they were corraled in some tennis courts.



About ten buffalos had escaped from a farm and caused little property damage. Maybe this could become an annual event in Pikesville and call it "The Running Of The buffalos", or maybe not.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=706030

She's From Canada, So There's No Excuse

Did ya hear about Caroline Marcil, the Canadian woman who slipped on the ice while trying to sing our National Anthem? Checkout the video here.



She was to sing it before an exhibition hockey game between the U.S. and Canada. Well, after getting stage fright and forgetting the words, she went back into the entrance tunnel to find a copy of the words. Upon walking back onto the ice and the small carpet where she would stand, she slipped and fell pretty hard. Of course, none of the hockey players behind her even made a move to help her up.



After a few seconds, she got back up and hurried into the tunnel and the game was played without the Anthem.



I understand that her stage fright would cause her mind to blank and forget the words, but there's no excuse for her falling on the ice because, um, hello, she's Canadian. Don't Canadians deal with ice and travel all the time? You'd think that they like walking on ice better than any other surface. I bet that they pour water on bare sidewalks in the winter just to feel more at home. In hindsight, maybe putting carpet on the ice was a bad idea because she didn't have much experience walking on the carpet since she only knows how to walk on ice.

I know she sang the whole song the next morning and all, but that goes down as one of the best worst (that's right, I wrote "best worst") Anthem performances ever. Right up there with Carl Lewis' rendition before a NJ Nets game where he not only paused b/c he forgot some of the words, but tried and failed hitting notes that no man should even think about going for.

It's A Matzah Rap Yo

An even better rap, this time about Matzah, ya heard!

http://www.jibjab.com/matzah/matzah.htm

Gym Rules That Everyone Should Follow

I got forwarded a list of gym rules that people should consider when working out. I haven't been a to real gym in a few years, but these still make sense to me. I've deleted a few rules from the original that weren't funny enough (believe it or not). Please enjoy this abridged version:

First, For The Guys:

1. Stop ogling the girls. It is human nature to look at beautiful things, and the more beautiful they are, the more you want to look. But come on - show some respect. Get a look, go back to whatever it is you were doing.

2. Stop ogling the girls. Seriously. Stop. I know you're a beast and have only six braincells, every one of them tasked with thinking about boobie. But for chrissake, have some decency, you jarhead. You're making them uncomfortable.

3. Stop ogling the girls. Yes, it's THAT bad a problem that I have to say it again.

4. Flex in the mirror at home. Sure, you need the mirror to watch your performance as you lift. And yeah, it's really cool to see yourself as you are all pumped and stuff... but must you do a full pose-down in the presence of everyone there?

5. If you sweat a lot, carry a towel. Wipe down the equipment you use. It's just respectful. No one wants to lay in your salty perspiration - if we did, we'd just walk up to you, turn around, and rub our backs on you like a bear would a tree.

6. If you cannot bench 315 lbs, don't get your buddy to sit there and "spot" you while the ladies pass by just so you can rattle the plates. Really, this one isn't too huge a deal - you want to damage yourself, fine by me - you're an idiot and deserve the pain. It's just frustrating to sit there and watch you trying to showboat for a crowd what doesn't give a shit.

7. Unless your name is Lee Haney, Arnold Schwarzenegger or Joe Weider, don't give unsolicited lifting advice - Unless you see someone who's risking SERIOUSLY hurting themselves. And even then, be polite about it.

8. Just because she's female does NOT mean she needs or wants you to spot her. Leave her alone and go back to your machine.

9. Wear a goddamned shirt, you prima donna. To clarify: Shirts consist of a torso and sleeves. If you've cut off half the torso to show your abs, you've failed at rule 14. Same if you've cut off the sleeves. And if you've EVER spent money on a spaghetti-thin single strip of cloth that goes over each shoulder and meets a 2" wide peice of fabric around your waist, you're a disgrace to humanity and should IMMEDIATELY proceed to the vascectomy clinic to save the human race from your spawn.

10. SHUT UP. No one cares what you bench, used to bench, will be benching, etc. and so forth. Write it in a journal at the gym, and if you really need to talk about it, read it aloud to yourself when you get home.

11. Grunting is understandable and ok - yelling is not. Quit trying to draw attention to your Herculaean efforts by screaming like a banshee.

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Now, because I am not one, I don't really know much about the rules for women as they apply to other women. But I do have a few guidelines for you gals.

So, For the Girls:

1. QUIT ENCOURAGING THE GUYS. Christ... this is the GYM. It's not a single's bar, quit treating it like one. I'm ESPECIALLY talking to those of you who laugh and flirt and flip your hair all over the place and blatantly poke your ass out when there's a guy present, and then get all pissy and angry when his eyes become glued to it. Wonder why the guys break rules # 1-3 in their list, making you feel so gosh darned uncomfortable? It's in part because you broke this rule. And while I'm at it,

2. NO MAKEUP. you come here specifically to get sweaty, and the last I checked, Mabellyene has not a single product geared toward gym use.

3. Closed-toed shoes only, please. I know you're a girl, and as such, you're not supposed to stink, but your toes sweat just like mine do.

4. Wear appropriately fitting workout clothing. Before you leave the house / locker room, look in the mirror again. and again. Ask your friends. Ask them again. It's one thing to wear close-fitting workout-specific clothing and spandex. Its another thing entirely to wear those clothes one size too small because you think they tighten your flab and make you look like J-Lo from the back. THey don't - if your ass and legs looks like a chewed wad of bubblegum out of spandex, they look that way IN spandex.

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And then, there are a few things that really apply to everyone in general.

For everyone:

1. Passing wind is a natural occurance, especially if you are exerting yourself. If someone lets one or 2 fly, or burps a little while running, just grow up and let it slide. That said, don't go farting all over the place. If you ate something last night that didn't agree with you and your intestines are blowing like the foghorn of an icecutter, STAY HOME AND RUN AROUND THE BLOCK. If one's coming up and you can at all help it, sneak off to the corner or in the locker room and do it there.

2. DO. NOT. WEAR. COLOGNE. OR. PERFUME. TO. THE. GYM. Just dont.

3. If you take it out put it away. Pick up the dumbells when your done with them. Remove the plates from the bars and put them back on the rack. Hang the jumpropes and weightbelts back on the hooks. Don't be a gym slob - pick up after yourself.
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I think everyone will agree that these rules are not out of line. In fact, I think everyone would agree that they are really very simple and direct. AND NECESSARY. Please share them with anyone you know that attends a gym or otherwise works out. Encourage your local gym manager to visit this site, print them out, and post them on the wall, or if you're brave enough, just do it yourself. And if you have a rule you'd like to add, please let me know in the comments.

It's just something that really, really needed to be said.

Finally, a cell phone booth

Yep, that's artist Nick Rodrigues with his own cell phone booth. He calls it performance sculpture and while it evokes plenty of headturning, I wonder how long until public places start offering small booths so people may speak on their cell phones and not bother everyone else. Checkout his interview here.

There's nothing wrong with talking on your cell phone in a restaurant, etc., but when done loudly enough or in a confined area, it gets plenty annoying. It was about 10 years ago when cell phones weren't as present as they are now and places where you never thought of making a call, like an elevator, still pertain even with cell phones and their reception capabilities.

Perhaps I should just cut off my nose

Spring has to be the best season of the year. Temperatures remain between 65 and 80 so you can be outside without breaking a sweat from the great humidity that is still a few weeks away. Of course, if you're unlucky like me, spring also means allergies for two months. On Monday, I was driving by a mower on the GW parkway when I got a whiff of the cuttings and felt it in my nose. I had hoped it was just a random occurrence and would go away. But alas, a few days later and here I am talking about the horrible evolutionary result known as allergies. Mine are strong until mid-June when all of a sudden they're not a problem anymore. Right now I feel like crap with my nose running and a sneeze every 30 minutes.

It's always the same time of year for me and my allergies. Back in high school, I once took an AP chemistry test and blew my nose, sneezed and coughed my way through it. Not that having a clear head would have improved my score, but everyone else probably didn't appreciate the background noise.

Maybe I should just do all my work upside down so gravity can't do its part and pull the mucus (what a great image) out of my bed. Actually, none of this would happen if the stupid sun didn't do it's part. If you need more info, just read this post.

No surprise to me, but the mid-Atlantic region is a hotbed of pollen activity right now. Green is the worst, red is the middle and yellow is the place to be to avoid pollen. You can check your own pollen count at www.pollen.com. The map below is the current pollen situation for all us Americans.



I went to Shoppers last night for some last minute groceries and started looking for the Claritin-D.



I must have circled the pharmacy aisle three times until I realized what that empty area on the shelf used to have. So all soldout of Claritin, I decided something was better than nothing and went with Alavert. It's chewable and a bit minty so it freshens your breath at the same time! It's two products in one! Well, I chewed that pill 3 hours ago and my symptoms have subsided enough so that things are manageable, but it's no replacement for Claritin.



Until I can get some Claritin, I just have to grin and bear it (poor me). I'm making a promise to myself not to rub my eyes (as much) this year. It just makes it itchier (sp) and doesn't really solve the problem. I've thought about cutting off my nose to make it stop running, and while that would provide some of the temporary relief promised by these allergy medicines, once the pollen subsides, there's that whole issue of putting it back on. So for now, I'll take my drugs, blow my nose and remain angry at pollen. Beautiful flowers or not, it's tough to deal with.