Hey Crotch Rocket Rider, Thanks For Almost Causing An Accident

I was unprepared for my unglamorous drive down Route 29 this morning. While I had my lunch and bottle of water, I didn't bring a bazooka to take one less unsafe crotch rocket rider off the road.

Long before the gluttony of traffic lights slows 29 south, traffic was flowing well for 6:45 in the morning. As usual, most of the cars were traveling just above speed, but close together. Driving the same road with the same people everyday allows such a level of comfort.

At least this sport bike doesn't encourage dangerous driving.

I was in the middle lane, just cruising along, when I heard the revving of a crotch rocket. I checked the rearview mirror and saw no single headlight. Then I checked the left mirror, but it only showed a line of cars and trucks. In the second it took me to turn from my left mirror to my right mirror, the biker was tailgating a utility truck in the right lane.

Newsflash...you don't have the right to make a 2-lane road into a 2.5-lane danger zone.

My front right bumper was caddy corner to the truck's back left bumper. Normally this isn't much of an issue because we're in different lanes, but this idiot on his bike had aligned his front tire with mine, keeping all of 2 feet between him and the truck in front. There was so little space between the corners of my car and the truck and not much room between me and the car in front that I didn't think the biking fool would cut in front of me.

Of course he did.

He crotch rocketed in front of me with about a foot to spare, tailgated the car in front and then swerved to the left lane, promptly cutting off another sedan before speeding ahead. I took my foot off the gas after the amateur rocketeer made his move to avoid showing my brake lights and scaring the crap out of the driver behind me.

I can only dream of doing this.

I know that not all, and certainly less than half, of sport bike riders are dangerous and dumb on the road, but it's a safe bet that there are more crotch rocket riders making unsafe maneuvers than you'd find among riders of touring bikes like a Harley or Honda. It's a small minority of sport bike riders, but they still need to exercise caution.

Sport bikes aren't the culprit, irresponsible sport bike riders are.

I would love for my passive road rage to find a legal way to destroy these riders and their bikes. How about flipping them over with a stick in the road, then running them over with Big Foot, and finally blowing them up with any weapons found in Grand Theft Auto. Until then, these dangerous riders will continue to get themselves killed/injured and cause plenty of accidents with their unsafe lane changes.

Where's BIGFOOT when I needed it?

Though my car's position didn't allow it this morning, I will back off and give these asinine riders their space because it's clear they value their time, safety, and lives over everyone else's on the road. Until it's legal to carry a bazooka in your car to blowup unsafe crotch rocket bikes and their riders, it would be nice if they respected other drivers didn't make sudden and unsafe lane changes and didn't ride the shoulder or between lanes while everyone else sits in traffic.