And with that, I will direct to you to Turtle Soup, whose author wrote exactly what I'm thinking today about last night's game.
Kamis, 12 Januari 2006
Rabu, 11 Januari 2006
You'd Laugh Too
It seems no matter the office space I work in, I'm always within earshot of this vibrating noise from a drill or mini-jack hammer that makes me laugh. It's not your typical virbrating construction noise, but more of a thumping. It's the kind of noise that sounds a lot like the thing we all do, some better than others, that changes the smell in the air for the worse.
That's right, everyday, as construction is being done on an adjacent floor, it sounds like someone is farting (commence laughing), also known as breaking wind, cutting the cheese, passing gas, and letting one rip. I can't help but think like this when I hear the drill used.
It's along the same line as laughing when someone says, "It's my duty." From elementary school to the present, I still laugh when I hear that and think of "doody". I know, I shouldn't at my age, but I also know I'm not the only one who still does. I guess this can't be my postcard secret anymore.
That's right, everyday, as construction is being done on an adjacent floor, it sounds like someone is farting (commence laughing), also known as breaking wind, cutting the cheese, passing gas, and letting one rip. I can't help but think like this when I hear the drill used.
It's along the same line as laughing when someone says, "It's my duty." From elementary school to the present, I still laugh when I hear that and think of "doody". I know, I shouldn't at my age, but I also know I'm not the only one who still does. I guess this can't be my postcard secret anymore.
Selasa, 10 Januari 2006
New Redskins Fight Song
Since I can't stand all of the TFW talk this week, I decided to reword the lyrics to their stupid fight song. Don't worry, I won't watch Saturday's game, just as I've missed all of this season's games. Sure, I'm a little bitter that the Giants didn't move on, but my hatred wouldn't be so bad if news about the TFW wasn't always overblown.
Bail on the Deadskins!
Fail Victory!
Cowards on the Warpath!
Bite one for old D.C.!
Trip or fall we never score -- we're such a snore!
Cheat 'em, can't beat 'em,
Hey fans! -- we've got sores!
Plight on, trite on 'Til Sonny J is done
Bastards of Wash-ing-ton. Shut your jaw!
Bail on the Deadskins!
Fail Victory!
Cowards on the Warpath!
Bite one for old D.C.!
I'd like to channel the play of Gus Frerotte into Mark Brunnell.
The updated original sad song:
Hail to the Redskins!
Hail Victory!
Braves on the Warpath!
Fight for old D.C.!
Run or pass and score -- we want a lot more!
Beat 'em, Swamp 'em,
Touchdown! -- Let the points soar!
Fight on, fight on 'Til you have won
Sons of Wash-ing-ton. Rah!, Rah!, Rah!
Hail to the Redskins!
Hail Victory!
Braves on the Warpath!
Fight for old D.C.
Senin, 09 Januari 2006
Skunked At Home
So we've made into the second round of the NFL playoffs and my beloved NY Giants failed to make it past Carolina. Actually, they really just failed to even show up by getting shutout 23-0. I prepared myself for a bad game by chalking it up to Eli's first playoff game in only his second season, but that didn't mean everyone else had a built-in excuse as well. There was no shame losing to Carolina, as it hits its stride at the right time after being a popular Super Bowl pick, but getting skunked at home is embarrassing. I turned off the TV a few minutes into the 3rd quarter.
New York's front seven has been banged up all season so maybe it finally showed this weekend. Since the level of play in the playoffs is much higher than the regular season, the defense looked liked it just ran out of gas and they were happy just to make it. Somehow New York made it through the regular season with lots of non-starters, so it just caught up to them when they had to play even better against a quality opponent. Strahan and suprising DE Osi Umenyiora helped the defense all year long. However, that doesn't mean the defense is allowed to miss tackle after tackle in the playoffs.
I give Eli a pass (haha) this week because it is his first playoff game and it should be noted his brother didn't win a playoff game until his fourth try, so I can be patient with this kid. Quarterbacking in the NFL takes lots of time and a quick fix is rare, so Giants fans, as difficult as it'll be, should just take a deep breath and give him some time (like two to three years). Of course, I just hope that the team is still following Coughlin's discipline way of coaching by then. It's only a matter of time before his act grows old on the players and an entire year is wasted while they rebel by not following orders.
It really seemed like the Panthers knew what the Giants were calling on every play. Besides the fact that the broadcast showed a clip of Carolina's QB, Jake Delhomme (or Del-Homey as I purposely mispronounce it) mimicking the Giants defensive playcalling hand signals, Carolina's coach was New York's defensive coordinator from 1997-2001, so this idea isn't much of a stretch. It's too bad really, b/c Tiki Barber had the 2nd highest total yardage in NFL history and it's unlikely he'll match that effort next year. Of course, he'll still have a strong year, but it would have been nice to ride his career year a little further into the playoffs.
I'm sure we'll hear tiki "take back" what he "didn't mean to say" in a few days once everyone calms down.
The worst thing about New York's loss is that the team from washington (TFW) went to Tampa Bay and won. The TFW is playing well despite its missing offense on Saturday and I still don't believe in Seattle which is probably due to the fact that the Giants almost won in Seattle (while the TFW did in OT) and that I haven't used the Seahawks in a videogame in the longest time. Granted, the most recent game I had until buying NFL Blitz: Pro yesterday was Madden '98 for Genesis, when I'd blitz their rediculously fast CB for an ungodly number of sacks, and then move Joey Galloway into the slot for lots of TDs because the CB wouldn't move in time when I put Galloway in motion. This Seattle team was legit, at least in the regular season, but the playoffs are much different than the regular season, so we'll see. At least for one week, I'm a Seattle fan and the early line favors Seattle by 9.
At least we know the "Giants" name isn't cursed thanks to Rick Moranis.
Home field advantage is nice, but it doesn't matter when you're not playing well when it counts in the playoffs.
New York's front seven has been banged up all season so maybe it finally showed this weekend. Since the level of play in the playoffs is much higher than the regular season, the defense looked liked it just ran out of gas and they were happy just to make it. Somehow New York made it through the regular season with lots of non-starters, so it just caught up to them when they had to play even better against a quality opponent. Strahan and suprising DE Osi Umenyiora helped the defense all year long. However, that doesn't mean the defense is allowed to miss tackle after tackle in the playoffs.
Luckily for you (and us Giants fans), we'll buy the excuse and say "you're still learning and there's always next year" for a few more years.
I give Eli a pass (haha) this week because it is his first playoff game and it should be noted his brother didn't win a playoff game until his fourth try, so I can be patient with this kid. Quarterbacking in the NFL takes lots of time and a quick fix is rare, so Giants fans, as difficult as it'll be, should just take a deep breath and give him some time (like two to three years). Of course, I just hope that the team is still following Coughlin's discipline way of coaching by then. It's only a matter of time before his act grows old on the players and an entire year is wasted while they rebel by not following orders.
Yet another broken tackle.
It really seemed like the Panthers knew what the Giants were calling on every play. Besides the fact that the broadcast showed a clip of Carolina's QB, Jake Delhomme (or Del-Homey as I purposely mispronounce it) mimicking the Giants defensive playcalling hand signals, Carolina's coach was New York's defensive coordinator from 1997-2001, so this idea isn't much of a stretch. It's too bad really, b/c Tiki Barber had the 2nd highest total yardage in NFL history and it's unlikely he'll match that effort next year. Of course, he'll still have a strong year, but it would have been nice to ride his career year a little further into the playoffs.
I'm sure we'll hear tiki "take back" what he "didn't mean to say" in a few days once everyone calms down.
The worst thing about New York's loss is that the team from washington (TFW) went to Tampa Bay and won. The TFW is playing well despite its missing offense on Saturday and I still don't believe in Seattle which is probably due to the fact that the Giants almost won in Seattle (while the TFW did in OT) and that I haven't used the Seahawks in a videogame in the longest time. Granted, the most recent game I had until buying NFL Blitz: Pro yesterday was Madden '98 for Genesis, when I'd blitz their rediculously fast CB for an ungodly number of sacks, and then move Joey Galloway into the slot for lots of TDs because the CB wouldn't move in time when I put Galloway in motion. This Seattle team was legit, at least in the regular season, but the playoffs are much different than the regular season, so we'll see. At least for one week, I'm a Seattle fan and the early line favors Seattle by 9.
At least we know the "Giants" name isn't cursed thanks to Rick Moranis.
Jumat, 06 Januari 2006
A Perfect Way To Die
I can't believe I went a whole day without posting some miscellaneous/boring entry. That's what happens when my usual writing time is "interrrupted".
I've never been much of a bowler, so I've got a long way to match Ed Lorenz's career. Having already been inducted into the Kalamazoo Metro Bowling Association Hall of Fame, Lorenz, at 69 years old, bowled a perfect game last week. Sadly, in the fifth frame of the next game, he died. He went out at the top of his game. It was a career moment for Lorenz who had bowled two other perfect games in 2004 and was a member of four bowling leagues.
You know it's old skool bowling when you have to keep score.
Lorenz had been bowling since 1957. Since 2002, his bowling achievements [now] include three 300 games, a 299 game, two 298 games, two games of 11 strikes in a row and two 800 series. Lorenz ended last season with a 223 average.
I've never been much of a bowler, so I've got a long way to match Ed Lorenz's career. Having already been inducted into the Kalamazoo Metro Bowling Association Hall of Fame, Lorenz, at 69 years old, bowled a perfect game last week. Sadly, in the fifth frame of the next game, he died. He went out at the top of his game. It was a career moment for Lorenz who had bowled two other perfect games in 2004 and was a member of four bowling leagues.
You know it's old skool bowling when you have to keep score.
Lorenz had been bowling since 1957. Since 2002, his bowling achievements [now] include three 300 games, a 299 game, two 298 games, two games of 11 strikes in a row and two 800 series. Lorenz ended last season with a 223 average.
Rabu, 04 Januari 2006
Where's the shopping cart bar?
This weekend I was doing my early morning Target food shopping ($3.39 for Lactaid milk can't be beat) and was pushing my shopping cart around. It was nothing out of the ordinary until I tried resting my foot on the cart while my partner in crime was choosing her granola bars. My foot rose from the floor and was placed along the cart's backside only to hit the floor again.
Is it too much to ask for a foot rest?
That's right. In my unclearest way of telling you, there is no bar on the back of Target's carts. It is such a nice convenience to rest your foot there or even try riding it like a scooter, but you can't do either at Target. Maybe with a bar, cart pushers would have more control so situations I've faced before in the supermarket wouldn't happen.
What sick world do we live in that doesn't allow Target carts to be used as scooters?
This happened at the same Rockville Target that has a shopping car lifting escalator, but no shopping cart bar on the back. If this was done to prevent kids, punks, or youth from using the carts like scooters, well then Target doesn't have enough faith in its parental shoppers' ability to stop their kids from acting like fools. I agree some kids seem to do what they want, especially around the toy section, but there's no need to penalize all of us older, (even maturer), kids from resting our feet or having some fun.
Is it too much to ask for a foot rest?
That's right. In my unclearest way of telling you, there is no bar on the back of Target's carts. It is such a nice convenience to rest your foot there or even try riding it like a scooter, but you can't do either at Target. Maybe with a bar, cart pushers would have more control so situations I've faced before in the supermarket wouldn't happen.
What sick world do we live in that doesn't allow Target carts to be used as scooters?
This happened at the same Rockville Target that has a shopping car lifting escalator, but no shopping cart bar on the back. If this was done to prevent kids, punks, or youth from using the carts like scooters, well then Target doesn't have enough faith in its parental shoppers' ability to stop their kids from acting like fools. I agree some kids seem to do what they want, especially around the toy section, but there's no need to penalize all of us older, (even maturer), kids from resting our feet or having some fun.
Selasa, 03 Januari 2006
D.C. Traffic - We Hardly Knew Ya
Just when I was getting used to 4-day workweeks and holiday traffic patterns, the great rush hours experienced from Thanksgiving until New Years are over. Gone are the days when unregulated merges never occur, less people wait until the final second to cut you off, radio traffic reports are all of 30 seconds, and late arrivees can't say that traffic held them up.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner...you get a traffic-free commute!
We became incredibly spoiled over these last six weeks, just admit it. While my commute into work rarely gives me any significant traffic, my drive home inevitably used to be a traffic crap shoot. The last 10-15 minutes of my drive are the most hazardous to my personal time as I make it around the inner loop of the beltway by 270. Most of the time I run into some bumper-to-bumper traffic, at least by Old Georgetown Road, if not before the curve, but holiday season rush hour turns 495 into bizarro world. I flew around the inner loop without any traffic on 75% of my trips home. It was like driving on Saturday morning. I kept thinking, shouldn't there be more traffic at this time? Did I miss the evite to a huge happy hour for beltway commuters? I wasn't complaining, but just a little miffed by the whole experience.
Watch closely as these elephants reenact DC traffic in real-time.
It was a glorious time of year. The next low-flow time is the summer vacation season and it can't come any sooner.
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